Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Prelude Part 2: A Heart Beat Before Doomsday

Post By ag Wed Jun 21, 2006 at 11:47:25 am EDT	Subject Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Prelude Part 2: A Heart Beat Before Doomsday Originally All Right. Time to get serious about the PV. Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Repost Thread	In Reply To ag Wed Jun 21, 2006 at 11:42:25 am EDT

<< Prev In Thread	[New] [Edit] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]

Another Earth, like our own.
The Plaid Wall of Anti-Story is here too. Almost everything has been absorbed by it.
The White House vanishes section by section.
The man is cruel. He’s the president of the United States and he has used this position to reign in terror over his country.
The only heroes this world ever had were the League of Outcasts. After blaming them for the murder of his wife, a murder he himself committed, they fled into hiding and disappeared.
Now he looks out the window as the world fades away. His thoughts are his own.
“Sir? There’s no reports from anywhere.” His aide explains, “It’s a complete communication black out.”
“Fine. Go meet your maker.”
“Sir?”
“Get lost tramp!”
The aide runs from the Oval Office, tears streaming from her face. That’s the last time he would ever see Asil.
President Visionary puts gun to his head as the Plaid Wall lights up the room and pulls the trigger.

BLAM!

Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Prelude Part 2: A Heart Beat Before Doomsday

The Lurker’s Hexagonal ship, existing in all times and space.
Monitors show the Plaid Wall devouring many different Earths.

“Not much of a loss there.” Access says as the screen shows Earth Outcast vanish.
“Don’t be so hard on him.” The Lurker, now much older and weaker, replies. “There were many good souls on that Earth and in that Universe. The Cowled Criminal just murdered billions of beings.”
A somber feeling fills the monitor room. There used to be plenty of Lurker-Bots but they are depowered and useless. Now just three people run this huge ship. Leeta, the Lurker’s faithful servant, Access, the man he gave a new life to, and himself. They can see the constant destruction is weakening him.
“Master Lurker, maybe you should rest?”
“Yes. Maybe I should. Watch them Access. I want them all recorded. A record should exist….”
She leads him away to his quarters.
Access turns back to the multiple view screens. On one screen we see a tired Sorceress clutching onto her son while her husband, the ruler of that Earth, the Demon Lover, fights uselessly against the Anti-Story Wall. We see on another Earth where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Sharks and Captain Canada die to the Plaid wall. The Justice League of Canada already died shirtless in their headquarters. On the third screen we see Vice-President Baron Zemo vanishing to the Wall while N'Sync and its lead singer, Greg Burch, all huddle together crying.
Access watches as the mysterious Soothsayer pops in from doomed Earth to doomed Earth, watching them all die.

The Place of Ravens and Destiny, where the Chronicler of Stories and the Omnisoul gaze down at three Earths.
Three ravens eye the Chronicler and his guest.
“Pardon me for saying so sir but what is it they are doing?” Quoth asked sheepishly.
“Maybe the boss’ cable is out?” Nevermore responds.
“No cable plagues our master thus; it’s the coming Crisis that raised this fuss.” Pallas the head raven explained.

“Well Chronicler? Can we add more?” the Omnisoul asked.
They gaze into a shimmering pool. Within it we see three Earths.
“No. I’m afraid these three will have to do. Anymore and the Cowled Criminal will become aware of our efforts and will speed up the destruction. These three are on the fringes of the alternate Parodyverses so they shouldn’t be noticed.”

On one Earth we see several older heroes in leading positions in the country. Their super powered children are saving people from the Anti Story Wall.
On the next Earth we see dinosaurs dressed in colorful costumes, saving other intelligent dinosaurs from the same Plaid Wall. Ho Hum Human is on Hornhead’s back, shouting something to Naterodactyl as the flyer swoops up a dino from destruction. Stegosorceress is performing magic and Diplodancer is spinning around. Ankylosoldier is also shouting commands at SpeedySugarcaneScarferSaur!, Tyrannoshot, thick skull and Egg Thief.
On the final of the three Earths various happy heroes are smiling as the ruler of their world, Yo, tried to think the Anti Story away.

“Well, they sure are persistent.” The Omnisoul comments.
The Chronicler nods. They both bow their heads and focus. Suddenly a rip in space swallows up all three Earths and shifts them somewhere else.
“Finished.” The Chronicler simply says. Both cosmic beings are exhausted.

“I have a question, if it isn’t too much trouble sir?” Quoth asks Pallas, “Why not do that for the prime Parodyverse instead?”
Pallas eyes his tired master and says to her, “Too much power can save Parodyverse Prime. It’ll have to wait for another time.”
“In other words pack your bags.” Nevermore quips.

“Who the &*^% are you?”
The Safe, a maximum security prison for misbehaving meta-humans, outlaw aliens, super criminals and the rest.
Recently they’re under a massive remodeling after the destruction caused during the Balefire incident.
The cells are crowded and several inmates are sharing until more of the prison can be built.
“What are you going to do?”
The Science villain known as Mood Swing, however, isn’t sharing a cell. With his emotion controlling powers he could cause all sorts of trouble and even the Power Control Collar on his neck doesn’t catch every thing.
“Never you mind human! My name isssss Ssspeedsshark and thatsss the lassst thing you’ll ever know!”
“But you can’t kill me! You’re too scared of me!” Mood Swing tries to use his powers to control Speedshark.
The servant of the Cowled Criminal simply points to his neck and says, “Implanted chip. Your powersss won’t work on me.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“There’sss sssomething you have that iss of great value to my Massster.”
“What?”
“Your gutssss!”
“AAARRRGGGHH!!”
By the time the guards come all they find is the bloody remains of the villain. His insides have mysteriously vanished.

Amazon Isle, an idyllic place of marble statues and pillars, lush vegetation and beautiful women in togas and jewelry.
The energy effect announces another woman, Humdinger, and five others as they appear hovering one foot from the ground.
Humdinger says to the others, “You men, do not let your feet touch the ground! Hover with your Lair Legion flight rings. It’s the law that no man can set foot on Amazon Isle.”
AmazingElemental Lad looks at the ground beneath him and Chameleon Dragon looks out at the beautiful woman sun bathing.
“I could handle this assignment!” Cham says with excitement.
“Get serious! If the Lurker wants us to help these people then that’s what we’ll do.” LightningJarvis barks. He doesn’t like what has happened to his five teammates and himself but he’ll make the best of it.
SaturnLisa and ShadowZemette land on the soft earth and look up at Humdinger.
“Well Faux Legion, my time here is done. I must help the Lurker prepare for the next phase. Good luck and hold the line.” Humdinger vanishes.
“Faux Legion? Heh. Guess that’s all we are now.” ShadowZemette says with an angry look.
“Alright, we no longer exist. We’re time anomalies. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun right?” Cham tried to make the situation better.
“We have no past, no families, no home worlds, and no life. Our lives are being lived by another Legion and there’s nothing we can do about it. Why would any of us want to have fun?” AmazingElemental Lad points out.
“Lay off him. What’s done is done. Let’s just get this job finished so we can return and start new lives.” LightningJarvis commanded.
His girlfriend, SaturnLisa, knew the truth. She read it from the Lurker’s mind. She didn’t say anything.
A woman arrives to greet them.
“My name is Toniolli. I am the chief greeter of Amazon Isle. I’m to take you to Queen Troia.”
“Lead on then and we’ll follow.” LightningJarvis replies much to the dirty looks from Toniolli.

All Saints Cemetery in GothemMetropolis York, where a pale man in a black trench coat leans against a grave stone, gently strumming his guitar.
A crazed rabbit man leaps through the graveyard, finally landing in front of the man with the guitar.
“Hiya Chronic! So you coming quietly or do I get to bash your brains in?” Horrible Hare asks.
“Ok. I’ll come. Whatever.” Chronic replies with no interest at all.
“Heh. The Cowled Criminal told me you’d be indifferent. Let’s go. And if you get any ideas about double crossing us, remember, you still owe the boss. Cross him and he’ll make it very bad for you.”
Chronic just shrugs.

The Faux Legion enters a spacious marble building that looks to be very ancient. There are statues of glorious bodies everywhere.
Toniolli leads them to the throne where a young woman sits, looking bored.
“Queen Troia 215 may I present our guests, the Faux Legion.”
“That’s the Lair Legion of Super Heroes if you please.” LightningJarvis corrected her.
“So you’re the guys the Lurker sent to help us huh? I was hoping for Donar, Finny, Hatman, maybe Donar. Alright. Fine. Do what you need to do but stay out of our way. I still don’t see what all the fuss is about.”
Everyone can hear it. The Chimes of Champions begins their song.
“You’re a wonder Wonder Woman!”
“What in the moons of Jupiter…?” AmazingElemental Lad wondered.
Troia 215 stands up, “It’s the Chimes of Champions! We’re under attack! To battle amazons!”
The Legion flies out of the throne room and into the court yard. They see a terrible sight.
Creatchers made of shadows zoom around, touching the amazons. At their cold touch the warrior women burn.
“This is it Legion! Let’s do it!” LightningJarvis leads the charge as his teammates attack with their powers.

Inside the Cowled Criminal’s Citadel, where Horrible Hare and Chronic walk through a darkened corridor to stand behind the Cowled Criminal. He is watching the Amazon’s battle on one of his monitors.
Without turning around he says, “I have a present for you Chronic.”
The Spaced Fandom takes Steve, the satanic guitar from Chronic. He wouldn’t allow it but for some strange reason Steve wants to go. The Fandom leaves along with Horrible Hare.
There’s silence for a long time as the Cowled Criminal and Chronic watch the battle on the screen.
“The day you can finally serve me is almost here.” The crimson hooded villain simply says.
More silence except the screams as the amazons and Faux Legion fight on.
The Spaced Fandom returns with Steve. He hands the guitar back to its present owner. Chronic notices the strings are different.
“What did you do?”
“I gave Steve what he wanted. A new set of guitar strings. They used to belong to a villain named Moodswing. His power is added to your arsenal now. Spaced Fandom, please return Chronic to that grave yard. His part in my scheme is almost here but not yet.”
Chronic shrugs and leaves, following the Criminal’s servant.

Troia runs her spear through a demon but it has no affect. It’s about to touch her when it turns into glass. She smirks and shatters it.
“You Faux Legionaries come in handy.” She says to AmazingElemental Lad who just saved her.
“Legionaries. Not Faux Legion.” He replied while turning more to glass.
“Whatever.” She shatters them.
ShadowZemette’s Dark Farce powers seem to be able to hurt the demons. The same is true for Lightning Jarvis’s lighting.
Not all are as lucky.
“Watch out beauties! I’ll protect you!” Chameleon Dragon says as he turns into a strange alien squid like creature. He bats at the shadow demons as several amazons look up in fear.
It’s not enough as the demons phase right through his body. He screams as his body dissolves into strange wisps of vapor. The amazons he was protecting go out the same way.
“CHAM!” AmazingElemental Lad screams.
SaturnLisa just bows her head in shame.
With renewed effort the shadow demons attack, killing Amazon after Amazon.
“Fight on! Fight on!” LightningJarvis screams at the top of his lungs.
Troia is and bleeding. She has multiple burns as she yells to the other amazons to fight to their last breath. A shadow demon comes up from behind and puts its arm through her chest. She falls silent.
“There’s only one way.” Saturn Lisa’s thought projection appears in the minds of LightningJarvis, AmazingElemental Lad and ShadowZemette. “Here is the plan.”
Troia lies, hurt, in the Pythoness’ arms. She looks up at the four Legionaries as they float back to back. The shadow demons surround them.
“ShadowZemette”. SaturnLisa commands.
The Legionnaire of shadows uses the Dark Farce to gather the demons to them. The creatures start to touch the Legionaries, burning them. The youth fight on.
“L..L..LightningJarvis, my love.” She would use their real names but for some reason none of them can remember their real names.
The leader of the team focuses his lightning powers through ShadowZemette’s Dark Farce, electrifying the creatures.
The Legionaries are in incredible pain as their bodies start to dissolve. Still, with their last, they fight on.
“AmazingElemental Lad”.
As his legs vanish he screams with all his might, forces out one more elemental transference. The Shadow Demons turn to flowers and fall to the ground.
“LightningJarvis my love, I’ll always lo…” SaturnLisa dissolves completely, as does the other three.
Troia looks around. All the amazons are either dead or severally injured.
“We did it.”
The Plaid Wall of Anti Story then shimmered into view.

Earth 60’s, on the corner of San Francisco streets Hade and Asbury, the Lair League stood defiant.
Jarvis-2 looked at the heroes assembled with pride. His graying wife, Lisa-2, held his hand. Sea Monkey and Dragon Man both grew to gigantic proportions, ready to defend this Earth. They were all retired but the appearance of the Plaid Wall shook them up and made them realize maybe they should defend their world.
The kids were here too. The Hat-Spangled Kid floated in the air above his team, Corporation Copyright. The new Dark Knight, Oddsidian and OverreactivePotMonsterGirl were not going to quit anymore.
That was yesterday.
Today Jarvis-2 is bleeding and hurt. He holds the lifeless body of his wife and screams. All the other heroes died to that damned wall and now, after everything that has gone on, it was his turn.
“Come on then! DO IT! KILL US YOU ^&*^%$!!”
It does as it wipes out that universe, making all plaid.
The Plaid Wall then moves through the dimensional barriers and shimmers into view on an Earth with fantastic spires and buildings built way up in the sky.
It eats through them as well.
Andy Dean and his wife Ziles watch in horror. They know there’s only one thing left for them to do. They run to their living quarters.

This is seen on a view screen in the Lurker’s ship. The Lurker turns to Humdinger and Access and says, “It’s time.”

Next up, Both Amazing Guys! Nats! Annabelle! The real Lair Legion of Super Heroes! The Librarian! The new Observer! Access! spiffy! Donar! The Junior Lair Legion! Visionary! Fashion Fairy! The Bog Thing! The Lair Legion!
Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses #1 coming very soon!

Can you hear the Footnotes calling?

DEAD EARTHS NOTE:
Earth Outcast:
Visionary is very competent as well as manipulating and evil. He is the unquestioned President of the United States and has blamed the remaining heroes for killing his wife. The League of Outcasts were captured by She Captor (an Elmer of the Universe from Parodyverse Main) and taken away. They sacrificed their lives to stop her. President Visionary still rules his Earth with no opposition.
Here’s a list of the deceased League of Outcasts.
Jarvis (d.)
Exile (d.)
Cobra (d. Messenger’s wife)
Messenger (used Express Knives d. )
Falcon (d.)

Earth Demon Lover:
The Demon Lover is in complete control of the Earth. Earth magically turned into a medieval version of itself.
Whitney Darkness, his mate/slave killed the LL and AL at her lover’s command. She made shrine to Hatman and called their son Jay after her dead lover.

Earth Canada (SG-PARODYVERSE-4) :
Home of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Sharks and Captain Canada. In this world, every country in the world destroyed
themselves in a nuclear war, leaving only Canada. So, they rule the world by default. Also home of the Justice League
of Canada. "For truth, justice, and the Canadian way..........". And instead of super-powers, the JLC is just good at
ripping of their shirts and chopping at each others chests.

Earth Opposite (SG-PARODYVERSE-3) :
The 'reverse' Parodyverse. Where Dark Knight is a member of N'Sync. Where Baron Zemo is Vice-President of the
United States. Where the Lair Legion is the Avengers. Where Jarvis is Alfred. Where.......everything is the exact
opposite of Parodyverse Main Earth.

Earth 60’s (SG-PARODYVERSE-2):
Pretty much like Parodyverse-1, but with all the heroes fighting being active back in the 60's at the hype of
Hippie-mania. Most of the heroes, Jarvis-2, Lisa-2, Sea Monkey, Dragon Man, and others, were in the Lair League,
the psychedelic-premiere super group of Parodyverse-2. They pretty much didn't anything besides drink tea in front
yards, smoke dope, and listen to Jimmy Hendrix. And marching for world peace and stuff. Well, that is until President
Nixon ordered troops to gun them down in Ohio for burning a building in protest. Oh well. But only 4 of them died.
In the early 90's grunge-era a bunch of the Lair League's kids (the Hat-Spangled Kid, the new Dark Knight,
Oddsidian & OverreactivePotMonsterGirl) got together to form Corporation Copyright, but broke up a few years later
when their leader Kurt Cobain shot himself.

NEVERMORE NOTES:
Places of Ravens and Destiny are the bases of entities such as the Chronicler of Stories, the Shaper of Worlds, and the Destroyer of Tales, created using manifestations of their powers. Each is different but these strongholds tend to have a raven theme to them.
Here’s a quote from Adam (our very own Visionary) to explain the three main Ravens of Destiny…

“The three most often named ravens are Pallas, Nevermore and Quoth. Pallas is the head raven, and Greg used to have him speaking in rhymes. ("A raven's duty may seem a tedious bore, but a bird could aspire to no more worthy a chore.") Don't know if he still talks like that or not. In any event, to others he seems very cosmic and majestic.
Nevermore I wrote once or twice as the more normal of the bunch, and much more loose. Like upper management. He'd be the one I'd have making a sarcastic comment or other joke. Greg wrote some really bizarre stuff with him, so I doubt you can really go wrong.
Quoth, while created by Greg and named by Cheryl, pretty much was entirely fleshed out by me. I wrote her as the eager newbie... Lots of "yes sir"s and "pardon me for saying so , sir"s and such... a bit uptight and nervous around superiors, like somebody on the first day of their dream job. She's not as green as she used to be, but I figure she still probably behaves this way around the others.”

TUCK THEM AWAY NOTES:
Here’s a list of the three Earths the Omnisoul and Chronicler of Stories shifted or tucked away…

Parodyverse Earth 2 (Golden Age heroes, younger generation):
Similar to Parodyverse Main during World War II, but on this Earth the heroes didn’t retire in the 50’s, but instead stayed active till later. Their children take on the job in a sort of generational thing. Present day culture is different from Parodyverse-Main. No further details at this time.

Earth Dino:
This is an Earth where dinosaurs never went extinct but evolved to speak, wear clothes and partake in a society much like ours. Here is a list of the Lair Legion of Dinosaurs.

Ho Hum Human
Diplodancer (Diplodocus + Dancer)
Stegosorceress (Stegosaur + Sorceress)
Hornhead (Triceratops + Hatman)
thick skull (Pachycephalosaur + dull thud)
Egg Thief (Oviraptor + Ziles)
Naterodactyl (Pterodactyl + Nats)
Tyrannoshot (Tyrannosaur + Trickshot)
SpeedySugarcaneScarferSaur! (CSFB! as a vegetarian Velociraptor)
Ankylosoldier (Ankylosaur + Mr. Epitome)

Earth Yo:
The Yo-Beings have taken over the Earth and everyone is being to be happy. Bunnies and happy heroes and villains being happy. All is good because Yo-Beings made it that way. Come here and be happy because Yo-Beings say so!

WHO WERE THOSE COSMIC DUDES NOTES:
The Omnisoul is the guardian of the Heart of Souls, an interdimensional crossroads. He has his hands involved in Amazing Guy’s history. The Omnisoul works for the Chronicler of Stories.

“The Chronicler of Stories is a celestial office bestowed upon one who monitors and records the events of the Parodyverse. The current Chronicler is the erstwhile Dark Knight, and somehow moonlights as him in a way as not yet revealed. The job also seems to involve a lot of talking ravens of destiny.” --- Who's Who in the Parodyverse?, Version 12.5

WHAT BALEFIRE INCIDENT? NOTE:
Balefire caused a city wide power outage during one of his resent campaigns. It can be seen in #146: Untold Tales of the Big Blackout: Back to Basics With Balefire

LUSCIOUS BABES IN TOGAS NOTE:
Amazon Isle is a piece of astral real estate occupied by the Amazon warriors by ancient covenant. The Amazons, led by Queen Troia and her high priestess the Pythoness, guard the main gateway between the Parodyverse and the terrible Dreary Dimension and other unpleasant places. Men are not allowed to set foot on Amazon Isle on pain of having their bits confiscated. Troia 215, daughter of the late queen Rigantona, ascended the throne after the recent murder of her aunt Titania. The Chimes of Champions are a delicate clockwork device that maintains the barriers the Amazons protect. They're a cross between a model of a Greek temple and a cuckoo clock, and when they chime (and only for the rightful champion of the Amazons) they play the great battle song of the race "You will fight the force of evil / and you chance won't be denied" etc., i.e. the old Linda Carter Wonder Woman theme tune.
Amazon Isle blocks the main gateway between Earth's plane and the Hells, preventing mass invasion. It's effectively in a corridor between two dimensions, acting like a door.

STEVE HAS DONE THIS BEFORE NOTE:
The idea that Steve has been able to acquire new strings isn’t new. Ian Watson surmises…
“In Greek myth the Maenads were the female disciples of Baccus, god of wine, intoxication, and mystery. Bacchus inspired the women to ecstatic frenzy; they indulged in copious amounts of violence, bloodletting, sex and self-intoxication and mutilation. They were usually pictured as crowned with vine leaves, clothed in fawn skins and dancing with wild abandonment. Think pop groupies gone completely crazy. They ravished any man they found and slaughtered him when he could no longer satisfy them.
After Orpheus' true love was killed by a serpent's poison and descended to the underworld, Ophreus ventured after her though still alive, using his amazing bardic skills to charm the dead and coming to the very halls of Hades. There he pleaded for Euridice to be allowed to return with him, and Hades granted it on one condition: she must follow behind him on the nine days' journey to the world above in total silence, and Orpheus must never look back and see her. Orpheus trekked back to the mortal lands through bitter hardship, but the doubt nagged worse and worse in his mind that he'd been tricked, and his live wasn't following him at all. Just before reaching the surface he couldn't help glancing round to check - and so she was lost to him forever!
Returning to the mortal world despairing and defeated, Orpheus was surrounded by the Maenads who demanded he entertain them and make love to them. When he refused in his grief and horror they tore him to pieces, ripping his head off, smashing his harp, and rending his guts.
I'm suggesting Steve was inspiring the Maenads to destroy the greatest musician of the Greek age so he could get himself some new strings.”

FAUX LEGION NOTE:
The Faux Lair Legion of Super Heroes stood out side of the time stream when history changed. That meant that they had no past or present. They were anomalies or glitches in time. Their membership included LightningJarvis, SaturnLisa, AmazingElemental Lad, ShadowZemette and Chameleon Dragon. They are now dead and will not be remembered or missed.

a.g.
Amazing Guy

Scott’s Site! Featuring Caption the Pic (where action figures talk!) and Amazing Tales on the Web (stories and micros of the Parodyverse!).

Posted from U.S. Network
using Microsoft Internet Explorer 6/Windows 2000

[New] [Edit] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]